I Cannot Make Bricks Without Clay
by rockmysocks456
Summary: Holmes and Watson recieve a new case while Mary's in France for the week. Can Holmes convince Watson to tag along anyway? Definitely. Based off of the 2009 movie with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. NO SLASH.
1. A New Case and Mary's Whereabouts

BANG!

"Jesus!" Dr. John Watson gasped sitting up bolt upright in his bed. It was about 2 AM. "Dammnit, what is Holmes doing now?"

He stumbled, sleepily out of bed and crossing the hallway to his dear friend, Mr. Sherlock Holme's room. He opened the door cautiously and saw his friend holding a pistol and pointing it, ready to shoot again at the wall.

"Holmes, what in the _hell_ are you doing?"

Holmes ignored this less than warm greeting and said merrily, "Ah, evening doctor!"

He shot the wall again and Mrs. Hudson's footsteps hurried up the stairs, she obviously must have seen Watson handling the issue because she returned to the kitchen.

"Evening? It's two o' clock in the morning!"

Holmes chuckled, "Is it?"

Watson sighed, this had been no where near the first time he'd been awakened at an absurd hour by Holmes. In fact, he hadn't had a full night's sleep since moving in with him.

"So what _are_ you doing, Holmes?"

The detective smiled, "I'm testing the difference between a few bullets,"

Watson shook his head and cut him off, "Holmes I _really_ think that-"

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. _Watson and Holmes turned their heads simultaneously towards the hallway and they heard Mrs. Hudson open the door.

"Oh dear- _really!_" Mrs. Hudson muttered as the visitor pushed passed her and invited themself upstairs.

"MR. HOLMES! DR. WATSON! I need your expertise IMMEDIATELY!"

The men saw in the doorway a man of about sixty-five, who was worn and old from his clothing to his skin. "What seems to be the problem Mr.-?"

"Edgar, sir. Thomas Edgar. It's my Lord, Lord George Thorn. He's dead! I discovered him this morning with Lady Isabelle! She nearly fainted, she did! She in quite a state, sirs. I haven't told her yet, for I fear it'll upset her even more, but the family vault's open, and empty."

Watson and Holmes exchanged glances. "Holmes, I know what you're thinking and the answer's NO. Mary returns from her trip to France on Monday, it's Tuesday and I do believe we won't finish this case by-"

"You said _we_, Watson. That means-"

"No, no, Holmes! That is _not_ what it means, I was merely saying that _if-_"

"So you're considering it as a possibility-?"

"NO, Holmes! I _can't_! I have a wife now, I don't have time for running about on foolish cases with you-"

"Will all due respect sir," Thomas said outraged, "I do believe this is important! Not some _foolish case!_"

"Not at all what I meant!"

"Watson, I'm surprised at you! I insist you apologize to this man and solve this case for him!"

"Don't try and talk me into this because I can't! I have a wife who doesn't even know I'm staying here, I'm supposed to be at home working on a few things for her."

Holmes sighed, "Very well, Watson. If that's how you feel I won't steer you any other way. Come along, Mr. Edgar." Holmes pulled on his jacket and as he and Mr. Edgar crossed the room to leave, Holmes muttered in Watson's ear, "_Doilies."_

"So, Mr. Edgar." Holmes said as he, Mr. Edgar, and Watson stepped into the foyer of the Thorn's Manor. It was morning now, the preparation of finding a carriage that was willing to take three men to Thorn Manor at 2:45 AM, and the journey over there took at least two hours. "Could you tell us everything _you_ know of the incident?"

"Of course. I was out in the garden, I'm the groundskeeper you see, and I heard some sort of ruckus going on upstairs. Followed by Lord Thorn's scream. Naturally, I abandoned the vegetables and hurried to find Lord Thorn. I met up with Lady Thorn on the stairs and she appeared frightened, so I went with her to where we heard the noise from. We entered Lord Thorn's study and saw him lying on the carpet, dead! He looked as though he'd had his throat slit! It was a horrific sight, but I didn't see anyone around that could have done it. Of course, they had most likely ran out once they finished because I can hardly believe they'd hang around. And then, I saw the vault behind Lord Thorn's desk open and completely empty! So I hurried off to comfort Lady Thorn and then I hurried off to fetch you."

Holmes thought this over, Watson could see the tell-tale signs of Holmes going into a brief, but thourough thought process. First he would stare off at the opposite wall, eyes not moving an inch, he would then pause his body motion completely but for his breathing. Then, he would make a sudden animated movement and exclaim a direction to whomever was around him.

"Okay, Mr. Edgar! Could you direct me and Dr. Watson to Lord Thorn's study?" Holmes said suddenly, clapping his hands together.

"Up these stairs here."

Holmes and Watson followed after Mr. Edgar and as they climbed the stairs, Holmes noticed the bathroom door open, a beautiful tub was in view. But that was not important. They entered Lord Thorn's study and saw Lord Thorn lying on the carpet, blood around his head having dripped down from his slit throat. Holmes dropped to his knees and began crawling around the scene carefully looking around. Mr. Edgar raised an eyebrow and looked over at Watson who merely shrugged, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Holmes did find the blade that pierced Lord Thorn's flesh, and found something interesting about it, that it had JM etched into the handle. He also found a bit of chalk dust on the windowsill which was open (no doubt the killer had escaped out of this). He found several other bits of evidence which he scribbled down in his notebook and made a list of suspects. One of them being none other than his nemesis, Professor James Moriarty. Once more Holmes went into his silent thought process until-

"Mr. Edgar!" Holmes said jumping, and folding his arms, "Could you show me and my colleague here to Lady Thorn?"

"Of course, sir. Right this way."

They were led into the parlor. Lady Thorn was sipping her tea looking quite distraught. "Lady Thorn? Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson are here for you."

She brushed a few strands of stray hair out of her face and offered them a seat and some tea. She was pretty, about twenty-five, with dark brown hair pulled back into an elegant bun at the back of her head.

"Mam, if I may, I'd like to hear what happened to you last night?" Holmes said inquiringly.

"Certainly. I was in the bathtub, and I heard George scream. So I pulled on my robe and ran to his study. I saw him dead! I left the room not wanting to see, and I cried all night. That's all I know."

Holmes nodded and motioned for Watson to accompany him outside.

"What do you think, Holmes?"

"I say she's a liar."

Watson looked surprised as he turned to Holmes awaiting a complex and probably slightly ridiculous explanation. "How so?"

"Well, for starters she had _not_ been crying. At least not all night. If that were true her eyes would still be tinged pink and her make-up would be smeared. However it looked as though she'd done it hours ago and it remained unchanged. Furthermore, I noticed as we came up to the second floor that the bathroom with the tub is on the same floor so she would not have met Mr. Edgar on the stairs like he said."

"Perhaps she was too shocked to cry but did not want to seem heartless by not crying, and maybe _Mr. Edgar_ is lying." Watson said thoughtfully.

"True, except for the fact that she also lied about the bath. There would have still been water in the tub but when I saw it, it was empty. She said she'd been crying ever since the incident. So she couldn't have emptied it, and Mr. Edgar said he had comforted Lady Thorn and then gone to find us."

Watson puzzled a moment, "I suppose. But you don't actually _think _she killed her husband, do you?"

"Certainly not. I for one am currently suspecting our dear friend Moriarty."

"I agree." Watson said solemnly.

"Good. If you didn't I think I might smack you upside your head."

"How positively uncalled for."

"Well with all this-"

"'Data, data, data' I know Holmes you've made bricks from your clay, okay?"

"... No need to snap."


	2. Suspicions and Knockouts

_*Author's Note: Alot of this story has facts about Moriarty and Lestrade that I made up so don't get confused, I write these facts for the story's sake. Oh and the astrus (*) means to look at the bottom of the page for an explanation to something you might not understand._

* * *

By five in the evening, Holmes and Watson were strolling down the cobblestone streets of London.

"Have you alerted Lestrade of our suspects?" Holmes asked conversationably.

"I did. And did _you_ remember to feed Gladstone this morning?"

"... I'm sure Mrs. Hudson'll figure it out. Anyways, I've been thinking and I think we ought not trust Lestrade."

Watson looked at Holmes, completely surprised. "Why?"

"Usually, he's on top of these kinds of cases. However this one he seems... odd. When I talked to him earlier, he seemed to be under the impression that Moriarty was the only possible suspect and that the case was closed. I disagreed and he suggested I not get into this case. Rather odd..."

"Perhaps he just doesn't like you." Watson said with a smirk.

"Well that is more than likely. However, I was thinking he could be a suspect. I mean, the police and ourselves, Watson, are among the few people that are aware of evidence such as Moriarty's profession and first intial. And I must say, I don't recall Moriarty carrying a blade. Doesn't seem his style."

The two men turned right into an alleyway, "I suppose it's possible, but it seems ridiculous. I think maybe Lestrade just didn't want to get overlooked again, that's all. And might I add that-"

"Stay where you are. Do not try to fight we will kill you." The voice came from one of the several men dressed in police uniform that Holmes did not recognize as city officers... imposters perhaps?

"Should we fight them?" Watson muttered to Holmes.

"Not yet." Holmes muttered back.

"OI! You two stop talking, we're here. Sent by Inspector Lestrade to haul you two in for interfering with a case the inspector clearly told you not to." One of the officers said loudly.

"Told you." Holmes muttered to Watson. "Okay, go."

Watson whipped out his cane and pulled out the blade that was imbedded in the tip. Holmes reached into his pocket and produced a revolver which he pointed towards the officers.

"I'll shoot." Holmes said steadily.

"Holmes..." Watson said cautiously.

"Thought you might say that." The officer said quietly.

In a punch so fast, his arm was a blur the officer sent Holmes staggering backwards clutching a bloody nose. Watson stepped foward brandishing his blade,

"My friend here, Mr. Holmes may not care much about his own well-being but I do. So you'll not harm him if you'd like to keep your throats." Watson snapped.

The officer smirked, "I see. Dredger, knock him out, please." Watson's eyes widened in fear as he heard from behind the familiar footsteps of a certain French speaking man.

"Navré, Dr. Watson.*" A large hand collided with Watson's head and he stumbled before hitting the ground.

* * *

Holmes sat, dazed thinking fast. _Apply kick to behind the knees. Collapsing, he will attempt a wild swing towards face, right elbow block. As he-_

SMACK! Holmes hit the ground and leapt up again as the officer hit him hard across the face with his nightstick. Holmes shot wildly at the officers who moved out of the way. Dredger however came up from behind and pinched a particular nerve on Holmes' shoulder blade. His eyes rolled into his head as he hit the cobblestone.

* * *

* _Terribly sorry, Dr. Watson. _(In French.)


	3. Awakenings and Suspects

_This is going to be a pretty short chapter, okay?_

* * *

"Oi! Watson."

Watson felt himself being prodded in the forehead. It hurt as he'd only twenty minutes ago been knocked unconscious by a muscular Frenchman. He blinked blearily and looked up at the sky. It was a royal blue, clearly just before nightfall. Holmes was half laying, half sitting beside Watson and looked as though he too had just woken up.

"'Ello, Holmes. Fancy meeting you here..." Watson mumbled.

He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked over at Holmes who was rubbing his head, and looking around.

Mimicking the phrase Holmes so often uttered , Watson looked at Holmes and then felt his head and said, "Holmes, what _have_ you done?"

Holmes smirked, "_I_ did nothing particularly absurd. Only saved you from those men."

"Oh and how'd that work out for you?"

"Not as well as I'd planned as I was rendered unconscious before beginning the fight."

"I see. Well, you tried your best." Watson said sarcastically.

"So do you believe me now?" Holmes asked, staggering to his feet and then holding his hand out to Watson.

"About Lestrade? He's definitely a possibility, but we can't be sure." Watson said taking Holmes' outstretched hand and pulling himself to his feet.

"Of course, one can't theorize before they have-"

Both men then said in unison, "Data, data, data. I cannot make bricks without clay."

* * *

"Mrs. Hudson, a pot of tea and some ice if you could." Watson called as the pair entered the house on 221B Baker Street.

"What did you do to yourselves now?" Mrs. Hudson called from the kitchen.

"Oh, you know, just beat up by some police officers. Or imposters. Not exactly crystal clear on that." Holmes shrugged stamping up the stairs.

He pushed open the door to his bedroom, followed by Watson and they both collapsed into opposite armchairs heaving a sigh.

"So who do we have here? Lestrade, Moriarty, Lady Thorn, Mr. Edgar..." Holmes said counting each suspect on his right hand.

"Yes. But we've got to figure out who it was that attacked us. I mean, they _say_ they were sent by Lestrade because we- wait! He never told us _not_ to work on this case!" Watson exclaimed.

"Precisely, Watson! Which is exactly why we should be most concerned! Every suspect so far has possibly lied to us with the exception of Moriarty whom we haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting up with."

"I see..." Watson puzzled as Mrs. Hudson brought in the tea tray and set it down on the side table between the chairs. She then scurried off to where ever it is Mrs. Hudson goes when not dealing with her nuisances. Holmes and Watson each picked up one of the bags of ice laying beside the sugar and slapped them on their heads. Well, not exactly slapped because that would hurt as ice is a solid... You know what I mean. Holmes and Watson each picked up a cup of tea and sipped quietly a moment before continuing.

"Then again, we have only two pieces of evidence leading us to Moriarty. The chalk dust that was in Lord Thorn's office, and the knife with the initials JM. However this could be anyone and Moriarty carries a Derringer* anyway... This doesn't make sense, Watson! Someone must've known a bit about Moriarty to attempt to frame him! Who could know Moriarty's occupation and first initial? I wonder if the Thorn household was ever associated with him.... What do you think, Watson? ....Watson?"

Watson was asleep in the armchair. "Dammnit, Watson." Holmes muttered and he too drifted off to sleep...

* _An early shot-barreled pocket pistol._


	4. Violins, Doilies, and Sacks of Money

_* Author's Note: Okay, so this is going to be a short story in general, only a few more chapters left. For those who haven't been counting, the case began on Tuesday, and in this chapter, it's Thursday. _

* * *

Watson jolted awake as he heard the familiar and most irritating sound, of a violin at two in the morning. It was not the first time he'd heard the chords being plucked and pulled at such an hour. This was Holme's way of thinking. And Dr. John Watson had no doubt in his mind that he'd find Holme's drunk on something meant for something other than drinking. Reluctantly, he prised open his eyes and blinked himself into wakefulness.

"Watson!" Holmes exclaimed, clearly excited, pointing the bow of the violin into Watson's face.

"Get that out of my face." Watson mumbled sleepily.

"It not in your face it's in my hand."

"Get what's in your hand out of my face."

"Get your face out of what's in my hand."

"HOLMES!"

"WATSON!"

Watson pulled the bow with slight difficulty out of Holme's hand and tossed it aside.

"Now, _what_, Holmes? What is the purpose _this_ time for your violin solo this evening?" Watson snapped.

"Watson I've been thinking-"

"And drinking. Holmes you realize this is meant for cleaning, not drinking?"

"I've been thinking that perhaps we've got this all wrong! Perhaps it was Mr. Edgar who we should be suspecting! NOT Lestrade! What do you think, Watson?"

"I think you're completely mad."

"Come along, Watson! We're going back to Thorn Manor!"

Watson groaned irritably sitting up straighter, "At two in the morning, Holmes?"

"Were you thinking another time?"

"I'm not going, Holmes. I've got far too much left to do for Mary already..."

"Very well..." Holmes sighed, such a fake sigh Watson very much desired to punch him.

Holmes gave Watson one last pleading expression before exiting out the door.

Watson glanced across the room and saw his walking stick. He stretched, stood up and crossed the room to pick it up. It was laying on a- Watson shook his head, laughing but then seriousness returned to his face as he recalled the voices. "_Lace doilies! Oh and she'll become all lumps of fat with a beard!" "And what of the warts?" "Oh, the warts!" "Will they be extensive?"_ His walking stick was lying on a lace doilie. Watson shook his head.

"THEY'LL BE EXTENSIVE!" Holme's voice called from down on the cobblestone of Baker Street, as though he could read his mind. He probably could.

"HATE YOU, HOLMES!" Watson called back, collecting up his coat, hat, and walking stick. He crossed the room, but not before picking up Holme's "forgotten" revolver and his own.

* * *

They arrived back at Thorn Manor, and hesitated before knocking on the door.

"It's five in the morning, Holmes. Perhaps we ought to come back at a later time-"

"Oh it'll be fine, don't be such a nancy, Watson."

"I'm not a nancy! I just don't want to wake a house full of mourning people-"

"There! You said it yourself they're _morning_ people, and won't mind being up early!"

"You know I mean _mourning,_ Holmes. Not _morning._"

"Haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about, Watson." Holmes said, clearly lying. He reached out a hand and knocked on the beautiful front door. After about a minute, Mr. Edgar opened the door.

"Yes, Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson? Have you found anything?" Mr. Edgar said, eyebrows furrowed deep in worry.

"We have a few ideas, but I think we ought to have a little talk with Lady Thorn first." Holmes said promptly.

"Wh-Why, I don't see how she could help you anymore than she did-"

"He's sounding a little guilty, Watson. Hit him in the shin." Holmes whispered to Watson.

"What? Why _would_ I do _that?" _Watson muttered back.

"Just do it, Watson! It could close this case!"

"Fine..." Watson, who's walking stick was in his hand, wacked Mr. Edgar in the shin and gave him a fake pompous, "Hmphf!" And continued up the stairs with Holmes.

"Now _why_ did I do that, Holmes?"

"Don't ask me, you're the one that hit an innocent old gentleman-"

"But you told me-"

"Really, Watson! I would have expected better behaviour from you. Ah, Lady Thorn! A moment of your time please." Holmes had spotted her bending over in the office.

She gasped as she straightened up with a jump.

"Lady Thorn?" Watson said uncertainly.

"What's that you've got behind your back," Holmes said slowly. He took one of her shoulders in his hand and turned her around. She sighed as he spotted a very large sack in her hands. He took it and looked inside.

"So it _was_ you that murdered your husband." Holmes said.

"Holmes, she could've been the one who stole the money, but not killed Lord Thorn-"

"Ah, but Watson. The evidence."


	5. Evidence, Confessions, and Twine

*_Author's Note: It's Saturday now in the story, okay? Got it? Good. Don't try that "but I counted _this_ many days!" because I don't care I noticed time was passing in the story too slowly so too bad._

* * *

"The evidence, I will begin to explain now. So sit tight, Lady Thorn. You're about to be Holmes-ed."

"Holmes-ed?" Watson asked curiously.

"As I could tell when I first met Lady Thorn, she is not as faithful as she appears. You see, while we were fighting the officers, Watson, I noticed some kind of white dust on the coat of one of the gentlemen. While I was figuring everything out last night, I discovered there was but one imposter who had fooled the whole group of officers into arresting us. You see, why would they have fled when we were both unconscious? Because the imposter had called on Dredger who is in no way allied with the police."

Watson thought this all over, "How does that explain the chalk dust, exactly?"

"The imposter was a professor who had once worked with our friend, Professor Moriarty. He no doubt wanted to ally with Moriarty again, so he pretended to be an officer so that he could gain Moriarty's trust, by giving him confidential, police information. When he discovered you and I had taken on the Thorn case, he was drawn to it because Moriarty has a particular disliking for us. It was easy to tell that Lady Thorn was unfaithful because Mr. Edgar did not want us to suspect her of anything, and I noticed, though I didn't at the time think to mention, that Lady Thorn was not wearing a ring, from the time we first talked to her, to now. As we can both tell, Mr. Edgar would normally have told us the complete truth, unless bribed, not with money*, by Lady Thorn."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Lady Thorn snapped.

"Furthermore! Lady Thorn could have easily mistaken the imposter for a real policeman, and knowing he knew her secret, she bribed him too. Now, the chalk dust was on the imposter's back, so he'd have to be pressed up against the window to have rubbed it off on the sill. As for the blade, after bribing the imposter, he decided to help Lady Thorn and knowing that Moriarty's initials were JM, he etched them into the handle of a blade. However, only having worked with him as a professor, the imposter would not know that Moriarty carries a derringer."

There was a long pause, and the three people in the room thought this all over.

"Correct, Mr. Holmes." Lady Thorn said softly, "I _did_ kill him and take the money. I figured someone would find me out so I was going to take the money and escape to France-"

"My wife's in France." Watson said.

Lady Thorn and Holmes looked at him.

"Sorry. Continue?"

"So if you could kindly place your hands behind your back-"

"No, just because I've confessed Mr. Holmes does not mean I will come quietly." Lady Thorn pulled a handgun out of the pocket of her petticoats, and pressed it to Holme's forehead.

"Don't touch him." Watson said cooly.

"And why is that, Doctor?" Lady Thorn inquired.

"Because I'll kill you."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

"Won't!

"Will!"

"Okay, how about you just drop the gun, Lady Thorn?" Holmes cut in.

"I think, " She touched her index finger to the trigger, "_Not._"

So suddenly, Lady Thorn didn't have time to react, Watson smacked the gun out of her hand. It clattered to the floor.

"Shit." Lady Thorn muttered, "Well, no matter I'm prepared without a weapon."

"And how so, Lady Thorn?" Holmes said with a smirk.

She picked up a bit of twine the two men had not noticed on the floor. She yanked it and both men felt a tug on their feet. They were both standing tangled in the twine.

"Dammnit!" Watson and Holmes yelled as they were dragged painfully over the window ledge and sent flying towards the earth... they stopped and were left dangling by their feet from the window.

"Watson, what _have _you done?"

* * *

_* Not with money - She had sex with them. _


	6. Cut Loose and Another Case Closed

_*Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter is going to be REALLY short! We're almost concluding our story, friends!_

* * *

Watson's head pounded with the blood that had rushed to his head, his bad leg throbbing and he was glaring resentfully at Sherlock Holmes who was dangling beside him.

"Hold on, Watson I'm about to cut us loose!"

"Holmes, we'll just fall on our- ARRGH!"

The two men fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. Watson rubbed his head and flicked Holmes in the forehead.

"Well, we've at least gotten to ground level."

Watson smacked him, "No shit, Sherlock."

"Holmes, Watson! Where- what the _hell_ are you doing?"

"You know, just laying around..." Watson mumbled, pushing Holmes off of him and stumbling to his feet.

Lestrade and a few other officers slowly approached as Holmes and Watson got up.

"Um.. well anyway, the reason we're here is that a Mr. Edgar telegrammed to inform us you've caught our criminal?" Lestrade said slowly.

"Well, we _did_ have her, until we were sent flying out the window entangled in rope." Holmes replied simply.

"And who do you mean by _her?" _Lestrade asked curiously.

"Lady Thorn, Inspector. She confessed and everything. I'm sure Mr. Edgar could verify that as I'm quite certain he was eavesdropping on our entire conversation."

"I see... well we'll just-"

A scream pierced each person's ears as a blur of pink fabric came tumbling out the open window.

"For god's sakes, someone catch her!" Lestrade snapped and three officers hurried over to catch Lady Thorn as she fell. Mr. Edgar leaned out the window and called,

"My apologies, she tried to shoot me."

"Forgiven, Mr. Edgar. Take her away, gentlemen." Lestrade said. He turned to Holmes and Watson, "So a job well done once more, you'll recieve your pay by tomorrow and that's that. Another case closed. Tah-tah."

A broad smirk spread across Holmes' face and he sniggered.

"What?" Watson asked cautiously.

"You said we couldn't finish the case in time. Mary won't be back 'til Monday."

"Unless she catches an earlier train in which case she'll be back tomorrow- shit, Holmes!"

"What is the purpose for your most colorful and inprofessional profanity, this time Watson?"

"Mary! I haven't run any of her errands!"

Out of no where, Holmes slapped him. "Come on, man! Take a stand! You've been running her errands for her since you got married! She can make you run her errands but _you_ can't solve cases with me?"

"I- I'll talk to her when she returns, think of some excuse..."

As the two gentlemen strolled together in the direction of the street, Holmes clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You my friend are truely, whipped."


	7. Asleep and Mary's Wrath

_*READ AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE READING! _

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: OKAY, ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER AND HERE ARE YOU INSTRUCTIONS. THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS ARE GOING TO BE ENDING CHAPTERS, BUT YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHICH ONE. EITHER WATSON AND MARY STAY TOGETHER, OR THEY DON'T. SO YOU DON'T READ BOTH END CHAPTERS JUST PICK ONE._

* * *

By the time Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson had reached 221B Baker Street, they were both utterly exhausted. They explained the whole case to an intrigued and anxious Mrs. Hudson and then bidding each other good night, parted ways to collapse onto their own beds. Sleep washed over them as soon they'd hit the pillow. For the first time in weeks, Watson slept until 8 AM not awoken by a violin. However he was awoken by-

"JOHN HAMISH WATSON!" He jolted awake and sat up quickly. Standing in his doorway was- Mary. She was trembling with anger.

"Ah, yes hello, dear?"

"DON'T YOU 'DEAR' ME, JOHN! YOU LIED. YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T INVOLVE YOURSELF IN ANY MORE CASES! WE'RE MARRIED NOW! YOU CAN'T BE RUNNING OFF ON STUPID LITTLE CASES LIKE THAT!"

"I-What?"

Mary hurled a small satchel of money at him with a note hanging off from Inspector Lestrade.

"I- You know what, Mary? I DID. I went on the case with Holmes and I DIDN'T run any of your errands for you! Okay?"

"THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE!*"

"I'M FINDING IT HARD TO DO THAT, MARY WHEN ALL SHE WANTS ME TO DO IS WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO!"

"I-YES! JOHN, YOU ARE A DOCTOR YOU CANNOT KEEP LEADING YOURSELF INTO SITUATIONS WHERE YOU CAN BE ARRESTED OR HURT OR- OR ASSOCIATED WITH SHERLOCK HOLMES!"

"HOLMES IS MY FRIEND, MARY! I'M NOT GOING TO SEVER ALL TIES WITH HIM JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT OFFENDED WHEN YOU INSISTED HE EVALUATE YOU AND FIGURE OUT EVERY DAMMNED DETAIL HE COULD ABOUT YOU! THAT WAS NOT HIS FAULT! BUT I ALWAYS STOOD UP FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I TOLD HIM IT WAS NOT HIS PLACE TO ACCUSE YOU!"

Mary's mouth was open slightly, a glare having fallen over her face.

"Now tell me, Mary, is this how you picture our life to be? I become a wealthy doctor and you fill the house with doilies-"

"_Lace_ doilies." Holmes added from across the hall.

"Yes, lace doilies- HOLMES! STOP EAVESDROPPING!"

"MY MISTAKE, WATSON! PLEASE CONTINUE."

"And, you become fat with-with warts and a beard?"

"I- What?" Mary snapped.

"That's not the life I want to live, Mary! I like going on cases with Holmes! I love you and I'll still always support you, but you have to let me have my way sometimes!"

Mary stormed out of the house. Watson sat on the end of his bed, thinking over what he'd just done.

"Well done, old boy. You've taken a stand." Holmes said entering the room.

"And possibly lost my wife in the process." Watson muttered.

Holmes shrugged, "Eh. Win some, lose some."

"You are a complete ass, Holmes."

* * *

* Yes I did get that from The Hangover.


	8. MARY AND WATSON MAKE UP

_AUTHOR'S NOTE READ BEFORE THE STORY: OKAY, SO THIS IS THE ENDING WHERE WATSON AND MARY MAKE UP! THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE AN ALTERNATE ENDING FOR IF THEY BROKE UP. GET IT? GOT IT? GOOD._

* * *

Watson sat their, on his bed, Holmes standing in the doorway and he was thinking hard.

"I've gotta go home and talk to her." Watson sighed getting up.

"Watson- come here for a minute." Holmes said defeated.

"What are you doing Holmes?" Watson asked suspiciously.

"My gift to you to give to Mary. Here." Holmes said as they entered his room and produced a beautiful emerald necklace.

"Holmes..! How'd you get this?"

"Well.. before Lestrade and I turned the money over to the rest of the family we did a little- shopping."

"This is _stolen?_"

"Not technically. Lestrade said what we take is ours, so long as we don't tell Mr. Edgar's wife about his affair with Lady Thorn."

"I-I can't." Watson said.

"The hell you can! I've got four of them."

Watson smiled, "Thank you, Holmes. I best be off then."

"If you can call going to make up with Mary best..." Holmes muttered under his breath.

Watson stepped lightly down the front steps when he saw Mary hurrying up to meet him. There, in the street where everyone would turn a disapproving eye, she kissed him.

"John I was so wrong! This whole time we've been married I was so selfish I only thought about myself when I thought it was what was best for us!"

"Mary, it's not your fault I was out of line flat out ignoring your request, they were simple errands really-"

"Oh, John! I LOVE YOU! And I want to make it up to you, I want to invite Mr. Holmes to go with us and a friend I met in France, she seemed familiar, her name was Irene Adler? To the Royale tonight."

Watson smiled, he had to make it up to her too if she was going to have to deal with such a lunatic couple at dinner.

"I wanted to make it up to you too. I haven't been putting enough effort into this marriage. So I got you a little something..." He pulled the emerald necklace out of his coat pocket and she gasped.

"John! It's beautiful!"

* * *

_Love, love, love. Lot's of hugs and kisses and an interesting dinner. Okay. Story done._


	9. MARY AND WATSON BREAK UP

_AUTHOR'S NOTE READ BEFORE STORY: THIS IS THE ALTERNATE ENDING WHERE WATSON AND MARY BREAK UP! IF YOU LIKE THEM TOGETHER READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER. _

* * *

"Holmes. What've I done?"

"If you really care about this woman that much go chase after her, why don't you?"

Watson headed out the door and down Baker Street. He was just turning onto Charing Cross when he saw Mary.

"Mary!"

She turned around and shoved him, "MAYBE YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ME JOHN, BUT WHEN I LEFT I MEANT WE'RE OVER."

"But Mary, dear! This is silly- I mean I was just telling you how I really felt-"

"AND YOU FAILED MISSERABLY AT DOING SO. GOOD BYE, JOHN! I'LL SEND YOU YOUR THINGS TOMORROW, IT'S ALL TOO CLEAR TO ME THAT YOU'VE CHOSEN YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH HOLMES OVER OUR MARRIAGE!"

"No, Mary! I just- YOU KNOW WHAT? I DID. AND THAT'S THAT. WE'RE DONE, I'M NOT COMING BACK I'M GOING TO START SOLVING CASES AGAIN WITH MY FRIEND, SHERLOCK HOLMES. YOU CAN FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR WHO WON'T SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS UNTIL YOU SHOW THEM WHILE SHOUTING!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"WE'RE DONE!"

"I SUPPOSE SO!"

"LEAVE THEN!"

"YOU LEAVE!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"BYE!"

"BYE!"

Mary stormed off down the suddenly silent street as everyone had turned to see the fight.

"That was fantastic, Watson!" Holmes said awestruck as he came up behind Watson, apparently having followed and heard the whole thing.

"It's over, Holmes."

"Come on now, Watson. You'll be alright. Why don't we go to that bread shop of Southford Hill and get some of that bread with the French glaze?"

Watson sighed, still staring where Mary had been moments ago. "I-Sure, Holmes."

"Fantastic." They turned and were walking away down the cobblestone, "So you're really done with her?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

* * *

_La, la, la bread with glaze makes everything better. Well that's the end of this story folks. Hope you enjoyed, _"I Cannot Make Bricks Without Clay"


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